1998 — ∞

Lately I often imagine us when we finally met
Your long ride finally end
Our exhaustion fade away
Eyes on eyes, smiling
Our first hey's and whats up's
The awkwardness inside your car
Us being too shy to bring a topic
I must be giggling and smiling a lot
I'll look dumb but I won't care
The sun shine so bright that day
The air taste like flower and leaves
It will be the best day of my life
The day God knows how long I waited for
But only if that happens, anyway
And I know it definitely won't be anytime soon
It's hard to tell if it will ever going to happen at all
I'm being this pesimistic
Oh, I learned from the best
Since you stop giving me hope
And saying sorry everytime I brought up this topic
I have no faith about our beautiful day anymore
Even imagining it feels ridiculous
The clock is ticking, and so is my heart
I believe we have plenty of times
But will it be ever our time or just me and you, living it separately
I know this is not intentional
I know your condition
And I have condition too, don't you know?
Just like our cells that die, grows, renew everytime
Our feeling changes too
For you, I tried to slow it down
I tried to keep it like the first time
I ignore all the things that lead me to doubt my love for you
I'll cheer myself up everytime you fucked it up
During the day, I'll manage to keep my head held high when God knows I cried myself to sleep too often
Loving you is a habit
Or maybe now love is not the right word to describe to this
Whatever it is, I'm addicted to it
I know I'm losing myself when I became too obsessed
Fuck all people who said distance doesn't ruin a relationship
They know nothing, I know years
If loving is this hard, I'd rather not.



Notes; June 2, 11:37 AM